Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Why I Hate Forsythia

I really hate forsythia, of all the blooms of spring this is one that really hurts my eyes. I'm aware this is a popular choice for the 'plants I hate top ten', but it really really is a stinker. One of the things that bugs me about  forsythia is it is just so ... yellow. Not partially yellow or a bit yellow, no the most lutecent of yellows. I'm not a fan of daffodils either (must be their yellowness) but at least daffodils can be a bit pale or fiery, not forsythia no forsythia is only the loudest of canary hues. But it would be unfair to judge it solely on its colour. Forsythia has no redeeming qualities at all. The flowers are floppy little things neither beautifully simple or grandiosely complex. The biggest problem with it is its shape. You can prune it into a minecraftian block of yellow that hurts the eyes but if you don't prune it it's shape is straggly with random bits sticking out everywhere.
All this would not be much of a nuisance if it was something that you saw once in a while. This is not the case, the yellow monster is absolutely everywhere I look. Every corner I turn, every time I look out of a window it is there being yellow. No self respecting plant hipster could even try and use this shrub ironically, it is that bad.

It's only redeeming quality is that soon the flowers will drop and it will be merely an ugly shrub not a horrifying one.

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